Gestation Period

How long should things take?

Before we begin, a heads up that a new cohort for working parents peer group is coming up! It’s 75% full already so if you are interested, reply back to this email with any qs!

Here’s what we’re getting up to:

• Learn about all the reasons we feel overwhelmed and feel we need to be fantabulous (yes, I made that word up) in every aspect of our lives

• Pin point what matters to you (and not the rest of the world) so you can focus on that

• Meet other working parents who get what you're going through and want to build community

Check out the deets here

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👋 I write about redefining success for overwhelmed working parents. I offer practical wisdom to break society's Rules and create a life that truly fits you.

Subscribe for doses of sanity, humor, and actionable insights to thrive in career, family, and self-care.

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I've been working on a new website for Rule Breaker and can't stop thinking about elephant and leopard gestation periods.

Yeah I know… that sounds odd. So, let me back up for a sec to explain…

On a safari in Tanzania (pre-kids era), our guide had this quirky habit of sharing two facts about each animal we encountered: its name and gestation period. Back then, it seemed oddly specific (and it's still a running joke between Dan and me when we take the girls to the petting zoo).

But as I clack away at yet another website header rewrite, I'm realizing there was a hidden metaphor in my safari education.

Did you know elephants take 655 days to gestate their babies? Lions need 131 days, leopards 93, and zebras 390 (even though horses only take 342). For reference, we humans take 270 days.

For How Long Are Animals Pregnant? Ross Toro, LiveScience Contributor

Nature, in its infinite wisdom, has set these timeframes. No amount of productivity hacks or motivational speeches can speed up an elephant's pregnancy. It takes what it takes.

Just like my own pregnancies, this website creation feels glacially slow. But the difference is stark between how I think about human and website gestation: while I accepted my pregnancy timelines without question, I've caught myself wondering what a more capable, dedicated person might accomplish with this website in the same timeframe. Like, did I really need to watch that season of The Morning Show?

Sound familiar? Anything in your life you might be beating yourself up about not doing faster?

We Think Life Can Be Sped Up

This self-criticism is decidedly so un-Rule Breaker-like - yet so easy to fall into this trap, even when we know better. 

Here’s what I see playing out…

Our world's rules insist we should always be faster and better. Unlike animal gestation, we've tried to accelerate every aspect of human achievement. We're wired for "faster" and "more."

• Nab that promotion faster with this new course (or feel like an utter professional failure)

• Teach your kids to read by age 3 (or feel like a delinquent parent)

• Get shredded in 30 days (or feel like a slob)

We find countless ways to make ourselves feel like we're falling behind and need to speed up.

A Rule Breaker Respects The Time It Takes

So, what would a Rule Breaker do instead of berating themselves for perceived slow progress?

For me, I'm trying to shift my mindset regarding the website. Building Rule Breaker isn't – and shouldn't be – a rush job or a rocketship story. It takes time to clarify the message, write it out, let it rest, and revisit. Each iteration brings more clarity and depth.

(There's a saying in the startup world: "It takes 10 years of hard work to become an overnight success.")

In my saner moments I’m trying to talk to myself kindly, as I would to a friend. And while I'm doing that, I'm acknowledging that meaningful work takes time.

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So, what’s happening in your world that you could maybe accept a slower pace to completion or achievement? 

Here’s my three steps to finding the true "gestation period" of your objective:

1. Pick a goal you're working towards.

2. Ask yourself: If someone else were doing this, how long would it reasonably take?

3. Now, be honest – are you giving yourself less time than that?

My hunch? You're probably being harder on yourself than necessary.

Embracing this timeframe might just allow you to enjoy the journey instead of constantly feeling behind and pushing for "more, faster."

Growth isn't about speed. It's about giving ourselves the grace to develop at our natural pace.

What goal are you going to give a realistic timeline to this week? Share in the comments – let's normalize the idea that good things take time!

Keep well-rounded,

J

P.S. I’m starting to revamp this newsletter. If it isn’t your jam, you can unsubscribe, all good. If you find yourself loving it even more, please share with others. That fils my cup immensely!