Beyond the Ordinary: Reflecting on What Truly Matters as the Year Ends

Dec 20, 2023

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I’ve been journaling regularly since I was 12. To read what my past self thought at a particular point in time is humorous, cringey and fascinating all at the same time.

While I’ve been keeping regular documentation of my life, it’s only recently (by that I mean the last 8-10 years) that I’ve taken to a serious end of year review.

I find that it is an amazing way to analyze all the data points I collect along the way.

So for this last edition of Rule Breaker for 2023, I’ll share the questions I’m going to be pondering in the coming week.

Naturally, they will take a Rule Breaker type flavour and provide alternatives to the typical growth/winning/success/accomplishment/challenges/best-of/worst-of type reflection questions.

Instead, I want to hone in on what is important to uniquely me and provide insight so I can chart a more well-rounded life in 2024.

Let’s dive in.

Some of my journals from the last 28 years.

The Goal Of Life Isn’t Achieving What Everyone Else Deems Important

In the business world, we collectively decided high profits are the ultimate goal and work to achieve that.

We follow the same kind of thinking with our individual lives. For professionals, the goals often revolve around higher salary, bigger team, more seniority. For parents, Momfluencers have set us up to strive for kids who sleep through the night, outperform their peers, are good eaters, and are well-behaved (especially when extended family is around). For the fitness buffs, record times, reducing body fat, increasing strength are among the primary goals. This same pattern could apply to any and all aspects of our lives.

But these markers of progress are set by others and it's worth questioning whether they genuinely align with our individual aspirations.

Reflecting Identifies What Truly Matters To You

From my seventh-grade journal until now, certain themes have consistently emerged.

I've come to realize that family holds paramount importance to me, evident in how frequently I remark on relationship dynamics and the moments of joy they bring to my day. My desire to leverage my skills for the greater good has also remained a constant, reflected in the various jobs and projects I've undertaken.

These insights provide a window into my personal values and aspirations.

Knowing what matters most to me is pivotal in crafting a well-rounded life because we can’t have it all. There are not enough hours or resources to be the most perfect and successful worker, and caregiver while also taking the ultimate care of ourselves. Attempting to have it all often leaves us feeling unfulfilled, like failures, or burnt out.

So, while we can't have it all, we can have what matters most to us.

Questions I’m Reflecting On This Year

In my year-end reflection, I aim to gain a deeper understanding of myself and my most cherished values. This insight will serve as my compass for the upcoming year.

Here are my 2023 reflection questions:

**1. What am I happy that I didn't do this past year?**

We live in a world that is full of opportunities and potential. We have the chance push ourselves to the limit, reaching for the stars. However, this approach can lead to burnout and neglect of other essential aspects of life.

Identifying what I chose to decline or removed from my to-do list will help clarify what truly matters to me.

2. What am I most proud of that no one else witnessed or that will bring me financial rewards?

Much like any other creature on Earth, we tend to do more of something when we're rewarded for it. These rewards can take various forms, from public praise to increased salaries and job promotions. However, I’m curious what gives me that truly "yummy" and deeply personal inner satisfaction to suggest how I life my life moving forward.

3. How did I make time for meaningful relationships and connections with loved ones?

In the Roundy Award interviews I did this year, I consistently heard that time with others is a non-negotiable.

But - in the hustle and bustle of life, it's easy to get caught up in our careers and personal pursuits, inadvertently neglecting the precious bonds we share with friends and family.

Nevertheless, these relationships are the genuine treasures that enrich our lives, a truth echoed in countless autobiographies.

4. How did I show kindness and to whom?

In our family, we emphasize the importance of kindness above all else.

Knowing this is an important value of mine, I want to reflect on where that most showed up in my life to guide where I spend more time in the coming year.

5. How kind was I to myself?

We are usually our harshest critics and that’s not great, IMO.

I learned that we should talk to ourselves like we would talk to a friend or a loved one yet I’m not good at following that advice.

Thinking about how I have been nice to myself and where I haven’t will give me clues to what I focus on in the coming year.

Know someone that would like these year-end reflection questions? Share it with them! 🎁💝

So there you have it. Some questions to reflect on that might give you some insight into have to intentionally create a more well-rounded life in 2024.

What questions are you asking yourself at this time of year? Share with a comment so we can all learn together.