Knowing Your Non-Negotiables

A Roundy Award recipient profile

Jan 10, 2024

👋 I challenge conventional thinking to help people create well-rounded lives.

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I love the randomness of how some people come into my life.

It’s those chance encounters that come out of nowhere that steer your life down a completely unexpected path.

I met my partner, Dan, on the red carpet of a fancy event. I almost didn’t go and only weeks before had vowed to stop dating. Luckily I went and was flexible with my commitments. 😉

Ben Wise, too, entered my world unexpectedly. Our "meeting" occurred on LinkedIn, where his thoughtful comments on my posts sparked my interest. Conversations ensued, and we discovered a shared connection through a former classmate.

So when I saw that he was nominated for a Roundy Award, I figured this is a great way to actually get to know him beyond his digital professional persona.

What I learned from our chat is that his well-rounded life is not random. He is clear on his non-negotiables so that he can craft an intentional life that suits him and his family.

Here’s his story and what I learned from it.

Non-Negotiables Are Ben’s Navigators

Defining one’s non-negotiables is akin to using high beams on a dark country road: they illuminates what's essential, keeping distractions at bay.

For Ben, his non-negotiables, as he puts it, are: family, work, community involvement and sleep. His wife and kids, commitments at Google and The Daily Bread Food Bank and eight hours of shut eye a night take precedent. Beyond that, it’s a crapshoot if it will get his attention.

Knowing what is important keeps Ben on track and avoids detours into less valuable uses of his time.

His Non-Negotiables Are Well-Rounded and Practical

I loved that Ben was clear on what mattered - and that it covered all the Roundy bases: career, care for others and care for one self.

He’s also reasonable with his priorities. Adequate sleep is his version of self-care. He admitted that while he isn't exercising as much as he'd prefer, he understands that this phase of life, with young children, isn't conducive to peak fitness.

Making time for things other than work and not expecting magazine-cover-perfection in each area is Ben’s way to steer life - and I dig it.

Professional excellence is celebrated by our most prestigious awards.
But a well-rounded life of work, self-care and meaningful relationships is ideal.
Enter the Roundy Award.
Nominate yourself or someone you know

Sometimes He Veers Off Track

I’d be doing you a disservice if I didn’t mention that he doesn’t always stay true to his priorities.

When we hold people up as role models, nearly 100% of the time they are painted in this light of perfection. But the reality is they never are and Ben certainly isn’t any different. Yes, sometimes he works late. Yes, sometimes he doesn’t get the sleep he needs.

So yes, Ben is mortal like all of us and errs from his intentions.

Nothing Is Set In Stone

As life evolves, so do our priorities.

Ben talked about this particularly with respect to his career and family life. Right now, his young kids take up a lot of time and energy. This means he has less one-on-one time with his partner (as anyone with young ones can attest to!). Also, he’s been in his role at Google for a few years now so he knows the ropes. This makes it easier to fit in family and community service time (versus clamouring for rapid successive promotions).

At different points of life priorities are going to shift, he told me, and for right now Ben’s got a clear path ahead.

Learning more about Ben’s non-negotiables got me thinking about my own.

Particularly, I went down the path of defining really really fine priorities. As an example, when it comes to family, I care most about providing healthy food for Dan and the girls but I care less about being the one to teach new sports skills to them.

Doing both takes more time than I have. So, I’ve settled on looking for muffin recipes that include red lentils while my oldest does skating lessons.

What are your non-negotiables? Share them in the comments below so I and others can learn from you too.